I go away for a few weeks, and my wife and mother-in-law turned into zombies!!!

So all the hair came off.

I'm out riding today, and I think to myself, "I'd like to go for a run."  Then I started getting excited about the idea of racing duathlons.  Maybe it's because I've been on the road for 4 weeks and I miss my wife, but I like the idea of competing closer to home and doing fewer, more select events.  But would my roadie friends ever forgive me?

Yesterday I watched 40 days and 40 nights, a B movie about a man's vow to abstain from sex 40 days.  By the time I get home in early August, I'll have been gone for over 50 days.  I can tell you that the suffering portrayed in the movie, however ridiculous it may seem, is real.

What is it about hotel rooms that make people so lazy?  We've been at the Super 8 in Somerset, PA for the past 2 days, and it takes every bit of energy we have to do anything but change TV channels and go to the bathroom.

I pulled the plug yesterday.  I'm headed home tomorrow.  The 7.5 week teamvegan trip is coming to end early for me.  Too much to do at home to race with a clear mind. 

At one point in my life, I felt like I was more calm, more centered.  Maybe that's because life was simple then.  All I really did was eat, sleep, and race my bike.  Now, I've created this abundance of stress in my life.

I'm making motions to recenter.  I must.  I'm going home.  Here I am in the O'Hare airport waiting for plane to take me there.  I'm hungry.  I'm thirsty.  I'm completely in my reptilian brain, except that I can think, "I'm not hungry for THAT."  

I've tried to get on two flights to the bay area.  I hope to get on a 1am flight to Oakland.  By the time I get home it will be 5am California time (assuming I get on this flight).  14 hours of being in buses, planes, airports, and cars, waiting for home.  There is a message in all this.  This is why I never fly. 

This is why I need to go hOMe, as coach Ilg would say.  I should relax.  I should clear my mind.  Writing this has helped. 

I'll keep this in mind at the next Tuesday night crit:

"Pain is a good object of meditation.  When there's a strong pain in the body, the concentration becomes strong. The mind stays on it easily, without wandering very much.  Whenever sensations in the body are predominant make them objects of meditation."

from The Experience of Insight by Joseph Goldstein.

I'd like to thank Jack for the gift of this book.  I read Dave's What's My Name Fool? last year, and I enjoyed it.  Obviously, in starting an organization like OrganicAthlete, I think it's important that we think about the interaction of culture and sports.

Jay tell me I need this...a wooden car to match my wooden bike.